Energy Management for People Who Care a Lot

Recently I was asked: How do you retain energy for yourself when you have to give so much to people as a therapist?

This is such a deep and important question. The answer to this questions feels complex in that it feels woven into the fabric of my being as a person and as a professional… like the way that muscles are fibrous and threaded and connected in ways that are hard to see but essential for functioning.

AND, this question does not apply to therapists alone. If you are a care taker of any kind - personally or professionally - this question is an important one to consider. Whether you are a parent, a child, a BFF, a nurse, a RMT, a nanny, a healer, a helper, an activist, and artist… a carer-of-the-world, this question is important to contemplate. Are you clear about how you manage your energy as someone who cares a whole lot?

Here are 3 ways I resource myself as a care provider that can be helpful for anyone who provides support of any kind to others, and is in need of healthy ways to manage their energy:

1. I give what I am able, no more, no less. Being self-aware and attuned to my own energy levels on a daily, hourly and sometimes minute to minute bases, helps me to be discerning about what I can give and when. Without self-awareness, we can nosedive into burnout while running on the treadmill of “being a good helper.”

2. I resource myself frequently. For me, this usually looks like spending time in nature, exercising, writing poetry, connecting with people I love, listening to music that soothes me, and cuddling with my kids.

3. I rest. When I am tired, under-resourced and healing, I rest without feeling bad about it (mostly without feeling bad! I am still working on fully detoxing from capitalist ideologies about constant productivity & improvement.) Resting can look like laying on the floor breathing, eating peanut butter-jam sandwich for dinner so I don’t have to cook, skipping plans that I no longer have energy for, and going to bed at 8pm even if the sun is shining and everyone else is doing cool things.

How do you take care of yourself as a giver? And how often do you engage in these activities? Is it time to take better care of yourself?