The Almost Published Roller Coaster
Today I had a minor panic attack.
My book is nearly 2 months away from being full on out there in the world and I am beginning to have all sorts of feelings about it. Watch this 3 minute video log for my personal share of thoughts and emotions on the almost-published-roller-coaster. Or don’t and just contemplate this doozy:
“In the moments before we do important work, we are almost never feeling good.”
What the heck does he mean?
Really? Is it because on the precipice of doing our most important work, work we are passionate about, work that came from our essence and effort, we are most vulnerable? Do we not feel good because we fear failure? Because we fear judgement? Because we wonder if we did enough, said enough, did justice to the work or missed something?
Is it completely this normal to feel so out of sorts right before the greatest work of my life to date gets birthed? And why is it that even with clear perspective that our work is not meant to resonate with everyone, this fear of being disliked seeps in like tasteless, odourless poison, seemingly out of nowhere?
Is it just by virtue of being humans and relational that we have no idea how to fully and completely separate ourselves from our work and the perception of others on “who we are?”
But who are we anyways?
From a conscious perspective, can’t we say that all worry of this kind, all unsettled, not-good feelings are based on ego? Knowing this, can we release it? As simply as it slipped in unannounced, can the fear be escorted out by the gentle guidance of consciousness?